Okay.. yes... I am being sarcastic.
I mean I like football I really do. I grew up in a house where football wasn't just a matter of life and death - it was much more important than that. My dad toured Europe with Liverpool in its hey day and I've lived and breathed the highs and lows of the beautiful game.
Yet anything in excess tends to turn my stomach (even Double Deckers).
So once I've got over the novelty of cold beer and a BBQ mid-week I have a feeling the tournament is going to leave me feeling a bit tormented.
Ever the resourceful person, I've come with some ways I can turn this around to my advantage (sssh don't tell the husband).
This is how the World Cup is going to work in my favour this year....
If the baby wakes just as we are going to sleep - I will not fret. If he wakes with the larks - I won't sweat it. I'll just whisper the words: "what games you got saved on Tivo?" and my man will be up like a shot. The distant roar of a football crowd can be my lullaby back to sleep. Aces.
Catch up on crap TV
Before we had kids we wouldn't think twice about watching TV in separate rooms for long periods of the night. We would have got to chat over dinner or before we turned the lights off. Now if we don't sit on a sofa together for some of the time between 8-10pm we would literally be like Norris and Emily Bishop. The downside is that it is really rare we watch something we both like. How can this man not like Grey's Anatomy, Revenge and Made in Chelsea. I mean really! But now it is guilt-free Orange is the New Black catch up (and yes I am a genius for saving it). I am a-coming Binky - all will be fine now I am here.
Father's day taken care of
I'm not a big fan of Father's Day as the husband is hard enough to buy for. There is only so much Molten Brown bubble bath and Percy Pigs this man can take. This year though I can offer to cook a roast dinner and then take the kids out so he can gorge himself on foreign finishes.
You can eat crap food
Two words people BAR SNACKS. Hell yes snacks galore. I might be watching Secret Eaters in the t'other room but man I am doing it in style - pass me the Doritos baby and save me some Onion Rings. Another beer - oh okay why not. It is the World Cup afterall.
Spook them out for fun
Swallow some key facts and randomly throw them into conversation - especially when his mates are around. You will amaze. Stuff like at last we have goal line technology and getting them to guess who the most expensive player in the World Cup is (Gabe's growth hormone mate Lionel Messi with a market value of 139,6 million euros). High five guys. I am a cool wife (who is just nicking a beer and going to watch Kramer versus Kramer - less weeping!)
There will be some thrills and spills
I actually love to hate it when I get sucked into the football frenzy. It is quite tense. I end up pacing. And swearing. And having mini heart attacks. Penalties are like horror films - you just can't watch but watch you do. I still remember the euphoria of Euro 2000 and beating the Netherlands and the epic Germany qualifier game a year later. But you know I am getting too old for all this hoo ha these days.
*What's that Mr Gorg - there is a great goal? No I'm busy. There is a penalty in the box? I'm really not interested. Who's arguing with the ref? I'm watching Marrying Harry. Rooney is about to score... oh man, okay. Budge up....I guess Piper will have to wait another 4 weeks*
|Gabe says: "So me and you are hiding in the garden for the next four weeks. Cool. |
One thing why is Daddy crying?"